Coming, Going, Gone

Doing paperwork with Mom
Doing paperwork with Mom

On a drive to my house our parents decided that they were moving to be close to me. Now I knew that they would eventually live near or with me but I was not prepared for the timing of it all. But really none of us ever are. So here is our parents journey and our story. We hope to get you to think about your options, talk openly with your family and have at least a beginning of a plan for the future.

As the oldest child and executor of my parents estate, I first would ask you to be open and ask for help. There are plenty of professionals out there that today you do not know exist nor do you think you need to know them. Use their knowledge.

Secondly, you need to have boundaries. You need to know that you will have to make compromises. If you have a job or other obligations such as volunteering, providing care for a grandchild, exercise regimen or meditation/spiritual practice then you need to discuss those time restraints and set some time and responsibility boundaries with your parent and yourself.

Thirdly, have a sense of humor. Once your parents need care and make shifts in their current situation or move to a facility or in with you, your life will never be the same. Enjoy the stories, the reminiscing, delve into your ancestry, document every one’s lives. Find the joy in your new situation and when you can’t find any, call a friend who is also taking care of an elderly parent and laugh together.